Hi Everyone!! Hope this finds you all well and that you had enjoyed a fabulous holiday weekend.  I spent some time thinking of the tips and thoughts I wanted to share with my trans friends. I bet these will not only be useful but will also make you think. Please feel free to share your tips and thoughts as well. As throughout this series I have enjoyed the ongoing conversation.

Ms Kay Marie

Having a Support System For Your Transition

Again I am going to start by saying, if you are trans, please do not hold yourself to standards set by the media.  Those on TV and print have much more than financial resources. Aside from stylists, tailored clothes, medical teams, they also have “handlers” for lack of any better term. People who can help them with their transition, whether it is with dealing with family, friends, colleagues or even their community.  I have found that one of the biggest fears shared with me, is not just facing those around them but handling the rest of the people in their world.  Being required to accept a transgender person in a work place is far different than actually being accepted. I know if you are going to openly transition you have spent some time thinking about everything from doctors, to clothes, hair and all sorts of feminine things.  So, please make sure you take the time to think of the one thing every girl needs ~ a support system around them of girlfriends.  Don’t worry about the number ~ all you need is one. A good girlfriend is like a good bra, supportive, always makes sure you look your best, and you can’t go  without one!

Researching Medical Options For Transitioning

Now, I do not want to give you any actual medical advice. However, if you have chosen any form of medical intervention, please take this advice. The internet is a great source of information. But please do not use it to diagnose, medicate or treat.  I have found that insurance companies are  beginning to cover many services for trans genders.  I can understand if you are hesitant to walk into  your HR department or just to start asking everyone what is and isn’t covered like it is a standard out patient procedure or the process. Here’s where the internet can best be used. Most insurance companies have very extensive websites. These sites have everything from providers, locations, patient support and even the ability to email or chat with support staff. You can review procedures and what to expect from them.  (Even check out the doctors.) If you are uncomfortable discussing various things with your physician (you know how I feel – get a new doctor) but if you don’t want to ask them to start your medical treatment or to give you a referral, then start with the websites. I believe you find that these providers are sensitive to your situation and will be quite respectable. Not to mention, I am sure they are just a wealth of information. Remember, they have many transgenders that they work with. They have much experience. Use it!

Tips For Looking More Feminine

On to looking your best. Again – YOUR BEST – not a copy of someone else. This will be a lot of trial and errors. And where that good girlfriend ~ or your lovely Mistress ~ will be indispensable.  First and foremost, dress for your body type. You’ll hear phrases such as “pear shaped”, “hourglass”, “barrel chested”, “short waisted” – just a few examples. This is the time to take an honest assessment of your body type – now – not where you will be once you lose the holiday cookie weight or start going to the gym everyday. You can do some exercises to help with a more feminine shape. For now, just search, “how to dress for your body type”. And remember, you do not need to dress as though everyday is the prom. Always look your best and be comfortable in your own skin. I have made mention of the tip that was shared with me on checking out the fashion blogs. Also, don’t be too shy. Seek out a favorite place to shop. A store that carries clothes that fit you and are your style, with knowledgeable sales associates. Not everyone is going to be welcoming or helpful. That’s ok – you don’t need everyone to be – just one!!! Again, reaching out on the internet, meeting other trans within your community (even extended community) will be a great source of of information. Get the inside scoop on where to shop, latest trends and more. Oh – keep the receipts and the tags on!!!! You might find that darling dress – isn’t so fabulous once you get it home. This goes for hair and make up as well. (yep – trial and error) There isn’t a girl out there that hasn’t spent a night in front of the mirror with brushes and combs or an entire color palette.  Have some fun with it!

One small thing. This might seem odd but I know I’ve been asked about it more than once so I wanted to mention it. Walking. You can get a makeover, see your doctor, be hairless and as feminine as the lady next-door , but you still walk like a dude. I even heard someone comment on Caitlyn Jenner’s walk ~ how effortless she does it.  I’m sure she has had quite a bit of practice, maybe some help, but also, she is an athlete. It’s a learned behavior. Cut yourself some slack and practice. Not just the slutty hip swinging strut, just walking. You’ll get it.
Well, I thank you for letting me share with you just a few of my tips.  This has been enjoyable. I promise to continue to share tips, information and stories as I hear them.  Please do the same.

Until next time!
Hugs,
Ms Kay Marie

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